this is about heart and feelings, and i just don't care.

It's been almost 21 years old that I think I haven't achieved anything that I want.

My life have always been, "You should do this", "Don't do that and this", or "It's for your own good".


Ive always been pretending of encouraging people to do this and that but honestly never have been the main purpose of my communication, because somehow truth sometimes and certainly be hurtful. 


People shouldn't manipulate me for my weakness as I am not that outspoken as people my age are or maybe younger. I am not good in socializing because of certain circumstances. I dreamt of being anything that I wished to be, which all of my dreams will always ended with a "NO".


Life is unfair sometimes, but somehow I survived for almost 21 years old. I am young, and should be allowed to do whatever thing I wishes to experience and deserve some respect among people as I am not 6 years old anymore. Even 6 years old are free to do anything.


Oh and somehow, I chose to be on my own and mainly, people will says im a loner which will leads me to the question, "Why should I care?".


I want to experience life and thats the only way, I could be independent, built up my confidence level and maybe, just maybe, be somebody that somebody will eventually will be proud of, and not just living like everyone else.


I have my own ambition which seldomly Im afraid of being it, but I will. Please don't say "NO" again.


Thank you.


H.